حفظ یک محیط آرام برای اعضای خانواده
یکی از ارزشمندترین وظایف والدین حفظ سلامت روان برادر و خواهرهاست..برادرها و خواهرها میتوانند دوستان و نیز الگوهای خوبی برای کودکان مبتلا به اتیسم باشند و به تقویت فهم آنها از دنیای اجتماعی کمک کنند.گاه برخی از کودکان و نوجوانانی که برادر یا خواهر مبتلا به اتیسم دارند به مشکلات خانوادگی،اجتماعی و شخصی که خواهر یا برادرشان برایشان پیش می آورند اعتراض میکنند.
ارتباط با خواهر برادرها:
مهمترین اصل در این مورد رعایت صداقت و ایجاد تفکری روشن است.این کودکان سوال های زیادی درباره برادر و یا خواهر مبتلا به اتیسم خود دارند.مثلا اینکه چرا با من حرف نمیزند یا چرا کارهای عجیب انجام میدهد.هرچه فرزندان شما در این مورد اطلاعات بیشتری داشته باشند بینش روشنتری نسبت به خواهر یا برادر خود پیدا میکنند و سو تعبیرشان کمتر میشود.و کمتر دچار تنش میشوند.اجازه بدهید فرزندانتان احساس های مثبت و منفی خود را در رابطه با کودک مبتلا به اتیسم عنوان کنند.
بعنوان والد میتوانید الگوی خوبی برای فرزندانتان باشید.نیازهای خاص آنان را بپذیرید اما مشخص کنید که بعضی موارد ناگزیر در این رابطه وجود دارد که احساسات منفی اجتناب ناپذیری را برمی انگیزد.از فرزندان سالم خودتان بخواهید با کلمات خودشان آنچه را برایشان توضیح دادید بازگو کنند به درک بهتر فرزند سال شما کمک میکند.
یک روش مفید این است که با فرزند سالم خود در مورد بهترین کاری که میشود برای خواهر یا برادر مبتلا به اتیسم انجام داد بحث و گفتگو کنید.البته این روش در مورد فرزندان بالغ و نوجوان امکان پذیر است.
مسئولیت پذیری زیاد و احساس گناه:
برخی برادرها و خواهرها در مورد کودک مبتلا به اتیسم،از خود توقع بیش از حد دارند تا جایی که به زندگی اجتماعی و تحصیلی خود لطمه میزنند.آنها بیشتر مانند یک مراقب بزرگسال تحمل میکنند تا یک کودک(والد کوچولو).
اگرچه درجه ای از تنش طبیعی است و باعث سازگاری بیشتر افراد میشود این برادرها و خواهرها از لحاظ عاطفی آسیب پذیرند.به هرصورت فرزند سالم که با برادر یا خواهر مبتلا به اتیسم و نیازهای ویژه او زندگی میکند.
ممکن است به علت داشتن احساس منفی نسبت به خواهر و برادری که نمیتواند به او کمک کند احساس گناه داشته باشد.به او کمک کنید متوجه شود که بروز این احساس ها طبیعی است.در عوض مهم این است.که چگونه عمل کند.بگذارید کودک سالم شما با این مفاهیم آشنا شود.و حتی در مورد این احساسات منفی با او همدردی کنید و به او بگویید چقدر دوستشان دارید.
توجه به فعالیت و انضباط به صورت مساوی:
گاه فرزندان سالم فکر میکنند خواهر و برادرهای مبتلا به اتیسم بیشتر مورد توجه والدین هستند.البته کودکان مبتلا به اتیسم به علت نیازهای ویژه ای که دارند ممکن است مورد توجه بیتشری قرار بگیرند.
چند راهبرد برای پیشگیری از احساس خشم و مغبون شدن در فرزندان سالم شما پیشنهاد میشود.در خانواده های معمولی که پدر و مادر هردو حضور دارند میتوانند با تقسیم مسئولیت ها همزمان به تمام فرزندان توجه کنند.در خانواده های تک والدی بهتر است از دوستان و بستگان جهت مراقبت اضافی کمک بگیرید.و در تقسیم وقت خود انعطاف بیشتری اعمال کنید.داشتن صراقت و صراحت اصول مهمی در این مقوله هستند.
هر روز مدت زمانی را با توجه کامل به کودک سالم خود اختصاص دهید.حتی اگر کوتاه باشد.طی فعالیت های معمول پیش از خواب یا فعالیت های بعد از ظهر از کودک سالم خود در مورد تجربه ها،احساس ها و نگرانی های او سوال نکنید.
یک یا دو روز در ماه را به علایق ویژه او اختصاص دهید.گاه نیاز های خاص کودکمبتلا به اتیسم فعالیت های کل خانواده را محدود میکند.مثلا خرید کردن در بازار مورد علاقه همه افراد خانواده است.اما کودک مبتلا به اتیسماز افزایش محرک ها و شلوغی محیط ناراحت میشود.محدود کردن این فعالیت ها فرزندان سالم را میرنجاند و از طرفی دامنه تجربیات قرزند مبتلا به اتیسم را کوچک میکند و درواقع با این روش به عدم انعطاف او پاداش داده پیشود پس ضروری است برای فعالیت هایی که مورد علاقه هر یک از افراد خانواده است جداگانه به صورت عادلانه اعمال شود.در مورد کودکان مبتلا به اتیسم باید قوانین و انتظارات متفاوتی داشته باشیم.اما نباید این فکر در برادر و خواهرهای سالم ایجاد شود که رفتار کودک مبتلا به اتیسم بخشیده میشود.قوانین انضباطی باید قابلیت استفاده عملی داشته باشند.مثلا مسئولیت انجام کارهای خانه برای فرزند سالم و مبتلا به اتیسم هردو باید وجود داشته باشد.اما نوع مسئولیت بر حسب توان آنها متفاوت است.گاه لازم است دلیل این تفاوت ها را برای فرزندان سالم خود توضیح دهید تا کمتر والدین و کودک بیمار رنجیده خاطر شوند.
ارتباط با همسالان:
برخی والدین نگران هستند که وجود کودک مبتلا به اتیسم بر روابط خواهر و برادرانش با همسالان او تاثیر بگذارد.پاسخ این همسالان اعم از خشونت یا مراقبت بیش از حد ممکن است کاملا متفاوت باشد.به فرزندان سالم خود آموزش دهید که درباره اتیسم به دیگرانتوضیح دهند و با بیان احساس خود در مورد این موضوع وسیله ای برای تعامل با دیگران را فراهم کنید.قبل از این کار با فرزند خود مشورت کنید.میتوانید از چند نفر از دوستان کودک مبتلا به اتیسم خود دعوت به عمل آورید تا به دیدن او بیایند.این عمل به کاهش کنجکاوی و نیز افزایش درک صحیح آنها از اتیسم کمک میکند.
زمان خاصی را برای تعامل همه فرزندان خود با هم در نظر بگیرید.مثلا در زمان خوردن خوراکی یا انجام بازیهای ویدئویی مطمئن باشید که کودک سالم شما فرصت تنها ماندن با دوستان خودش را دارد.وقتی کودک سالم با دوستان خود در اتاقش است نباید اجازه دهید کودک اتیسم شما وارد اتاق شود مگر از قبل با هماهنگی خود او این کار را انجام دهید.
نظر به این نکته که انجام هرگونه فعالیتی برای فرزند سالم شما باید با هماهنگی و تعامل مستقیم با خود او صورت بگیرد به بهبود روابط او با خواهر یا برادر اتیسم خود کمک شایانی میکند.
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